On the Lower East Side the other day I saw a bearded dragon lizard riding on the back of a small dog. Their owner had been carrying the bearded dragon but paused when he saw us looking and asked if we wanted a picture (yes). He told us it was his birthday and that to celebrate he had bought $900 sneakers (the sneakers are in the picture; they are pink and shiny). The dog sort of shook the lizard off and he landed on the sidewalk, which startled and concerned me for a moment, but the dog was probably only ten inches off of the ground and the dragon seemed unfazed.
“Enjoy this humid New York day!” the man said as he made his way on with his two companions, though initially I heard it as “Enjoy this human New York Day!” and that seems equally likely even though I know it’s not what he said.
The bearded dragon stayed on his shoulder as he crossed Houston, but it inched its way down until it was nearly completely on his back. I don’t know how strong a bearded dragon’s grip is on the surface of a t-shirt, but he seemed to be a professional. At one point he let the dog off of its leash and I have to say it behaved in a pretty professional manner as well.
On the theme of neighborhood characters and mishearing, there’s a guy who often stands on my corner wearing camo shorts, a vest without a shirt but with significant metallic decoration, and occasionally a hat. I walk past him all the time, and one day when I was feeling particularly neighborly and jaunty, more human than humid, I must have made eye contact and given him a nod of recognition. He either said, “Hey buddy!” or “Hey dummy!” so I suppose I need more data on that.
