A multi-part list by age, collected over years (note: it is intentional that these are all from different years and that things like gender and specific age aren’t given, just to further ensure anonymity).
8- and 9-year-olds:
“That’s really arrogant!” –in response to Purell’s claim that it can kill 99.9% of germs.
“I don’t need water…I’m a free rannnnnnnnnnge chicken!”–after the mom asked, “Do you want some water?”
Line from a book for fourth graders about a dog traveling w/Lewis and Clark: “New fur covered the scar where Seaman’s beaver wound had been.”
Me to student: “Have you ever been to Ellis Island?” Student: “Well no but I have been to a golf course called Ellis Island mini-golf.”
Me to student: “Do you know what a terrace is?” Student: “Someone that kills people.”
Student, reading aloud: “The mariachi would never refuse her.” Me: “…matriarch.” Student: “Maybe they have a band.”
10- and 11-year-olds:
Student, examining pencil markings on the desk: “Hey, it looks like the breast cancer ribbon!”
Me to student: “An independent variable is a variable that you can manipulate.” Student: “That’s not very nice to the variable.”
Student: “Can I do something funny to you?” Me: “Uh, probably not.” Student: “Oh, so you’re not a laughing kind of person?”
Student, drawing a cartoon person: “My people skills have really improved!”
Student, talking about daylight savings: “I like the fall back. The dark is fun. (Pause) I’m not trying to be a downer or anything.”
Student, working on math definitions: “Sum–the answer to an addiction problem.”
Student, looking at messy handwriting: “I think I was on crack. A crack. In the table.”
Student, being tutored via Skype: “Brace yourself, Claire.” Me: “What?” Student (opening a new tab): “I’M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO SEE YOUR WHOLE FACE!”
Dad
More please, funny girl!