That’s definitely the group name of bruises. That or constellation, but maybe that’s better saved for freckles. I seem to be slightly anemic–vegetarian things–and I also walk into things more frequently than I would prefer, so I generally have at least three bruises at all times. Most of them are unremarkable, but I’ve had a few that were epic. After sustaining–not twin bruises, but definitely half-sibling or maybe first cousin bruises–on both legs when I walked into some sound equipment,… Read more »
Posts By: Claire
Thievery
The only thing I have ever really had a serious itch to shoplift is fresh basil. Basil is one of the select herbs that just doesn’t translate at ALL when forced into dry form. It’s like a really ineffective shape-shifting superhero. Very powerful fresh! Very ineffective when powdered. Basil seems to only be sold in outsize containers of 50 leaves or more. Here is the number of leaves that I need in order to enjoy fresh basil in my farro:… Read more »
Animal, Vegetable, Mineral
More subway thoughts: Both grilling (questioning intensely) and roasting (gently or harshly mocking) are terms we use about people – why are we comparing ourselves to food so frequently? And are grilling and roasting (food version) comparably similar/different to grilling and roasting (people version)? Why don’t we talk about boiling people, or baking them? I guess we do talk about getting baked. And hammered! And, come to think of it, nailed (and…banged? No; I don’t think people get banged. They… Read more »
Ignition (not remix to)
Yesterday I was on the train on my way home, though in theory I was on my way to yoga. Yoga would require getting off the train four stops sooner than I would if I were planning to go home, put on a panda suit and relax, which I kind of was. I knew that I would be glad *after* going to yoga, and that I would be content while there, but the idea of going was so much less… Read more »
Didgeri-dodgeri-do
The other night I came home to a noise emanating from either inside of our apartment walls or the apartment above us. It sounded like the middle part of a Venn diagram showing the overlap of rusty pipes, angry ghosts/bees/ghost-bees, and oversized appliances. If our apartment was a face, the alcove where the washer and dryer sit would be the mouth, and last night it would have been screaming. This was an especially unwelcome development because it was paired with… Read more »
Big ABCs
A few weeks ago I was passing the time by trying to glean a pattern from the letters that are often paired with “J” for nicknames (BJ, RJ, DJ, CJ). You might think it’s the “Eeeeee” sound, but a) that’s probably the most common characteristic for letters of the alphabet, period; b) then you get to “MJ” (And if you’re quicker on the uptake/more systematic than I am, you…get to “AJ first”) Let’s see: “A” and its rhymers: AJ, JJ,… Read more »
Thanks, Science!
The other day as I completed my Duolingo practice, I asked myself, Will I ever really need to know how to say “this theory describes liquids” in Russian? Or “We need to measure the size of the particle”? (I’ve reached the “Science” section of the app; other upcoming lessons include “Politics,” “Justice,” and “Nothing,” which I assume will teach me to write about existentialism in Cyrillic. In my Mandarin course, there’s a section on “Existence,” which promises much the same.)… Read more »
Medical Mythology
I’ve been flossing every other day for the past month, which is probably up there with the longest stretch of time I’ve managed to floss regularly. I still have to force myself to sit through the whole cycle of the electric toothbrush, though. My poor dental hygiene habits aside, the new flossing habit got me thinking about the differences in our responses to negative reactions associated with doing certain things. That was a number of empty phrases! Let me be… Read more »
Daylight Savings
It’s day 2 of daylight savings, so of course I woke up with the Christmas song “Up on the Housetop” stuck in my head. This sent me into quite a rumination about WHY it’s up on the “housetop” instead of “rooftop”? Who says housetop? Googling this troubling question only leads me to a “howstuffworks.com” explanation of how Santa delivers presents. It does, additionally, clarify that the next lyric is “reindeer pause” not “reindeer paws.” HOOVES. More housetop/rooftop conundrums via Duolingo,… Read more »
Commentary
Student, describing one interpretation of the justice system and putting someone away for smaller but more convictable crimes: “Like when someone is a murderer but you can’t prove they killed someone, so you get them for taxidermy or something” Student describing a marriage: “Then Lady Macbeth is like, did you kill him without me? FOMO.” Train conductor, apropos of nothing: “People wobble but they never fall.” My Fitbit, confusing because I was simultaneously getting a text message and thought the… Read more »
