Linguistic superlatives from life recently:
Best appellation:
12-year-old student: “Do you like the snake I won? I named it prefrontal cortex.”
Best Venn diagram intersection:
The shaded region where “gummy snacks” and “popular sperm bank choices” meet: Trader Joe’s “Scandinavian Swimmers” Swedish Fish knock-off.
Best portmanteau of more than two words:
Boyfriend describing the zombies who live in a video-game subway station: “Deadizents”
(citizen…denizen…resident…dead!)
Best observation about words’ failings and shifts:
Friend talking about how hard it is to adequately describe what you see when traveling: “It’s hard to use words like “amazing” because we’re always using those words. We’re using extraordinary words for, like, a fucking taco, so to describe Egypt I have to come back around again and just say, “I was happy.””
Best mixed metaphor:
Roommate on shooting one’s self in the foot/burning bridges: “She salted the well!”
…which births a slightly different interpretation of events. You can salt the land; you can poison the well; if you salt the well, perhaps you really just wanted to improve someone’s iodine levels.
