Bless the Olympics Channel for showing GYMNASTICS more than once a year. I was able to watch the Cottbus world cup the day after it happened. Actually, I could have watched it live with NBC commentators, but for whatever reason the rebroadcast had a completely different commentator: an older (sounding) British man who had definitely done his research but also clearly wasn’t a gymnastics commentator per se. He had some interesting things to say…

About Flavia Saraiva from Brazil, who is under five feet tall: “Well! She’s a… petite young lady, that’s for sure! She’s…very, very small.”

In response to a fall on vault, with no follow-up: “Noooooo!”

In response to…someone’s vault landing. No, this is not a gymnastics term: “Oh, the…top with the hips.”

Still on men’s vault:

“And just the big bunny jump.”

“And then finishes off with the hips over…very clever.”

“Almost nailed it again…that little bunny hop will annoy him.”

He had some things to say about women’s beam as well:

“Look at those toes working hard.”

“Those little socks…she obviously thinks that they help her…”

And women’s floor:

“That wasn’t very special, was it.”

“Not exactly nailed, were they, those passes?”

Back to Flavia. “You can imagine her as a baby, jumping out of the cot! She’s never really grown up, has she. The thrill of movement!” Come on, guy. She’s 19.

Not to be left out was men’s high bar:

“The crowd trying to boost him again…they’re very sympathetic to failure…Well, it was a solid performance, but a failure nonetheless!”

Overheard in my apartment building:

“Wait, you said there are a bunch of centipedes? Or just the one that ate my hand?”

“I’m trying to use charisma…I know a tastier person you can eat!”

“That’s not what “likely” means!” “What are you talking about? That’s literally the definition of ‘likely’!”

Overheard on the subway:

One older woman to another older woman:”She’s kind of a femme fatale. Always wears pink, never wears pants…”

After listening to them for a few minutes, I realized she was talking about her seven-year-old granddaughter. Lady, I’m not sure you have a solid working definition of “femme fatale”

While I was trying to make an important decision last week, my Duolingo Mandarin lesson gave me the practice sentences, “What is the thing you fear the most?” “I am afraid of change,” and “I cannot relax!” all in a row. So if you think your phone isn’t listening to you, well…

Radiation Nation, by Natasha Zaretsky: I read books about radiation at the same rate I read books about diseases and epidemics, which is to say as much as availability will allow me. I read about this one in my college alumni magazine. It’s very smart but unnecessarily jargon-y; it reads like a dissertation rather than narrative nonfiction (I suspect it was, in fact, a dissertation). In short, it was a relief when I realized that “52%” on my Kindle actually marked the end of the book and beginning of the notes and bibliography section.

Can You Tolerate This? by Ashleigh Young: I took the jacket off of this book almost immediately so that I could put it in my purse and take it on the subway with me (only naked books are allowed in my purse–it’s like a sauna in that way). As such, I didn’t read the back of the book or the inside cover description more deeply than when I first bought it. This is notable because, as a collection of essays, much of the framework of the book relies on context. I don’t think it speaks well of a collection if it doesn’t hang together without the help of material outside the diagesis, and I’m happy to say that ultimately, Can You Tolerate This? didn’t actually need the supplementary material to cohere, at least after the first few essays (also, maybe contradictingly, I don’t think a book should rely on blurbs/about the book, but I do think a great title that ties things together is a strength, and this is a great title). Ultimately I really loved it–there were a few shorter essays that felt like filler and could have been left out–and I’m happy essays like this are being published. By “like this” I mean deeply important but not ostentatiously about “important” topics, and extremely well written in addition to being important.

I’ll be Gone in the Dark, by Michelle McNamara: I read this just prior to visiting Sacramento! (Fortunately, they caught the likely Golden State Killer, who in the book is known as the EAR-ONS (a name that looks pretty odd out of context), earlier this year)) Is it a tautology to say that if you like this kind of book (I do) you’ll like this book? That’s not a dismissal–the writing is good and it’s horrifying and interesting–though I wish McNamara had had the chance to finish it before her death (and, of course, to see the likely killer arrested).

Fever Dream, by Samantha Schweblin: I admired this more than I enjoyed it, and I’m inclined to go down a wormhole of trying to define “enjoy” and also attempting to clarify that I don’t mean “admired more than I enjoyed” as damning with faint praise…but I think it’s an accurate summary of how I felt and so I’ll leave it at that. For some reason, perhaps because I was already thinking about titles/framing devices/front matter, I kept thinking that if this had been a short story (ie even if it had been the same length), I would have enjoyed it more. I don’t know if that makes sense. There’s a terrific uncanny feeling throughout, but the elliptical nature/the ambiguity of what was actually going on left me a little empty. I saw this book compared to the Southern Reach trilogy by Jeff VanderMeer and that seemed apt because I loved the idea of Annihilation but found it a slog in practice (and then tried to read the second book, Authority, and couldn’t). Going back to the idea of framing, the original title for Fever Dream when it was published in Spanish was “The Rescue Distance” which is a VASTLY better title and focus. I don’t know–I craved more explicitness.

Cowboys are My Weakness, by Pam Houston: I read almost all of this on an airplane, which is mildly ironic because I had started her book Contents May Have Shifted (which is essentially set on a series of flights) before traveling, but I had that one in hardcover and Cowboys are My Weakness on my Kindle, so…that’s how decisions are being made these days, in addition to “what’s due back at the library first?” (though that doesn’t apply to ebooks, because you just have to put your Kindle in airplane mode so your books don’t get yanked back when they’re overdue…).

Musicophilia, by Oliver Sacks: Because I write about music and the brain, I’d been meaning to read this since it first came out…Sacks is always enjoyable reading, but I had forgotten how anecdotal most of his work is (A Leg to Stand On being the exception among what I’ve read–and I would assume Awakenings is, too, though I haven’t read that one; I do remember the film adaptation as one of the first things I watch with great interest from my parents’ bed). I wished he spent more time on fewer cases and did more explaining of the neuroscience, even if speculative (and written for the lay audience).

The Undoing Project, by Michael Lewis: I haven’t read The Big Short or Moneyball or anything Lewis has written, but I’m sure I will after reading this one. I had been meaning to read Danny Kahneman’s “Thinking, Fast and Slow” for a while, and am even more interested after this brief introduction to his work with Amos Tversky on decision-making, heuristics, and mental biases. I was really sad, though, when halfway through the book I Googled both Kahneman and Tversky and went through a sequence of thinking “Tversky looks so much younger than Kahneman! Wait…IS he younger? That can’t be…they were young men in Israel at the same time…ohhhh.” If I had finished the book before looking for their faces, I would have learned that Tversky died in 1996. I do sort of wonder, re: Lewis, about the volume and popularity of his work and whether it will be consigned, like Malcolm Gladwell’s is (at least in what I’ve heard and read), to the realm of lightweight pseudo-science. But then Lewis isn’t writing science; he’s writing about scientists and their work, which is fundamentally different (though apparently people took him to task after Moneyball for having described a well-known phenomenon as if it were his discovery, but…clearly his editors hadn’t heard of it, if they didn’t point that out to him?) In any case, I do want to give him props for his subtitle, “A Friendship that Changed Our Minds,” because it sounds like it means one thing before you read the book and can be read in a few different ways after you finish.

Transcription, by Kate Atkinson: I like the loose connections among Atkinson’s recent books. (Okay, I said that before I actually got more than 20 pages into Transcription, which isn’t actually connected to Life After Life or A God in Ruins, though it does have a similar feel–beyond being written by the same person–in that it takes place during war, in London.) I will say…that I was disappointed when I finished. I enjoyed the book 95% of the way through, but the ending was lacking. The structure–flashbacks throughout–works perfectly well, but I didn’t actually understand the resolution, nor did I have a sense of completion, and the bookending device didn’t work at all for me. Still, I don’t wish I hadn’t read it, and I mean that as more of a compliment than it sounds.

The Witch Elm, by Tana French: I was extremely vigilant about determining 1) when Tana French was likely to complete a new book, 2) when Tana French’s latest book was set for publication, 3) when the library had the book on order. Hence I ended up only, I don’t know, 76th on the waiting list for this. I’ve read each of her other novels–my favorite remains The Likeness–and though I was initially disappointed that this one is a standalone (not narrated by a member of the Dublin detective squad) and didn’t feel that the voice rung true enough…I ended up somewhere between liking and loving it anyway. I can rarely predict the endings to mysteries, and while I pretty much figured this one out, French always writes her endings with so much nuance that beyond the basics (whodunit) I didn’t see it coming.

Your Duck is My Duck, by Deborah Eisenberg: I keep calling this My Duck is Your Duck accidentally, and then This Land is Your Land gets stuck in my head…I haven’t actually read beyond page 2 yet, but I already have library fines. Worth it! She is one of the greats.

An update on the health and safety of my paperbacks: although my parents claim that I need to look into planes, trains, and automobiles to ship my books to NYC after Christmas, my woman on the inside reports that her mother “is NOT going to drive that car [the car that effectively owns the storage unit, or engendered it, anyway] in the salt and snow in December!” So…a reprieve?

One thing (the only thing? Ha) I managed in my purge was not feeling that I absolutely had to keep all of an author’s books if I kept one (or most) of that author’s books. Some authors are polymaths and can do comedy as well as they do tragedy (Phyllis Reynolds Naylor, Ann M. Martin), but that doesn’t mean every outing is a success. I think the ONLY Ann M. Martin book I tossed was Ma and Pa Dracula, which, well, no one can do it all.

There were an inordinate number of books about unicorns and dragons. I remember liking fantasy, but…not really of that specific genre. Bruce Coville still makes up a significant portion of all of the books, but I got rid of his “Monster Stories” and “Vampire Stories,” “Ghost Stories,” etc, which, as an adult, look to me more like excuses to publish all of his friends’ work than solid collections. I’ll stand behind the My Teacher is an Alien series, as well as Aliens Ate My Homework, and most especially Goblins in the Castle. Bruce Coville has written more than 100 books. 100! I understand that books for children and even YA novels are shorter and so almost by definition take less time to write, but still…

Coville, Phyllis Reynolds Naylor, Ann M. Martin – these are extraordinarily prolific people. Granted, Ann M. Martin didn’t write the entirety of the Babysitters Club series and all of its offshoots herself (one doesn’t just produce multiple books every single month, especially without a spleen!), but she must have had some oversight. All of the BSC books cohere very well in spite of new characters, more outlandishly fabricated situations, etc. Compared to something like, well, the Boxcar Children after book #19 (#17? I think it was 19) – that became markedly different (and abysmal) after Gertrude Chandler Warner died.

One other small gripe: if at all possible, please don’t write a fantastic book in 1994 and then not write the sequel until 1999. The person who desperately wanted to read the sequel will have aged out of your series.

 

Some of the books that I never actually owned–I may have been allowed to go to the bookstore every time I had to go to the orthodontist, but I still really raided the library hard–are highly VEXING in how non-specific their titles are. I had been trying to remember for literal years two different series, both about groups of friends (duh, and also, don’t bother trying to consult Google) but finding myself stymied, because

  1. how can you search if what you remember about a book is not the author, title, name of the characters, or even plot points, but rather how you felt while you were reading it?
  2. why were multiple series called insipid things like Forever Friends or Friends 4-Ever??

And yes, those were in fact the two series I was looking for. I found one of them because…I guess my Googling skills must have somehow improved, or in any case when I–several years ago–attempted to do a Google search for “pen pals,” “spooky barn,” and “n’stuff boxes,” I really did not have any luck.

(I don’t know if it just didn’t occur to me to search for “teen series”” 80s” “pen pals,” or maybe I didn’t remember the pen pals element, only the barn? In any case…)

So that’s how I found Friends 4-Ever, which did in fact have a book whose cover shows the “pen pals” in a “spooky barn,” and another that I remembered a vague FEELING about but little else (ice skating…enemy moves in…OH YES, C U When the Snow Falls (all of the titles were indeed like that)).

The other series – the equally specific “Forever Friends” series – I’m sure I found only by trolling (actually trawling; I didn’t comment with take-downs of anyone’s taste in YA fiction or anything) various internet compilations of all the 80s and 90s series books. I find the choice of title even dumber in this case because the premise was actually less generic than just “group of four friends (guess what! All of them have different traits that generally don’t overlap; their Venn Diagrams look like a neatly ordered row of plates!). The Forever Friends, at least, had a party planning business (yes, yes, I know that was one of the most common tropes of middle grade series) and each book centered around a particular job/party.

I loved themes, basically. While we’re here, can we talk about how Ann. M. Martin most likely invented the character of Janine Kishi, Claudia’s “genius” older sister, as a way to lampshade the fact that no one (including Martin herself and me) knows how “Babysitters Club” would accurately be punctuated, so best cover all bases by having a sibling with an IQ of 196 who doesn’t know either but can discuss it in detail??

(I’ll never forget that discussion, which lasted several medium-font pages, but I did have to Google Janine’s IQ. I’m not made of magic.)

I’ll never lose my love for the great (and not great) middle-grade fiction series of the 80s and early 90s (and probably mid-90s, too; I was the 13-year-old who might read a Babysitters Club book while eating Pop-tarts after school, then finish my day with Toni Morrison), and I encountered many of them while going through my bins of books. To be honest, I kept most of them. I parted with the books for REALLY young chapter-book readers, like Patricia Reilly Giff’s Polk Street School series, which I remember reading until two or three in the morning one night when I was five or six (I had asked my mom if I could stay up all night reading; she, thinking I was joking or maybe doubting my night-owl capabilities, said yes; she was then horrified when she found me awake, reading, in the middle of the night, and I was confused because hadn’t we discussed it already?).  I wasn’t big into Sweet Valley Twins unless the particular book had something to do with gymnastics or acting, and I only had a couple of sad Nancy Drew and Encyclopedia Brown entries that I don’t really remember reading…but almost everything else survived the cull.

Definitely still residing in their temporary storage unit home: Sleepover Friends, Babysitters Club, Silver Blades (ice skating, obviously), The Gymnasts, and Ballet School. I believe there are more, but…I only took pictures – thus far! – of the books I got rid of.

Existential question: What makes a work of middle-grade fiction a series book? Does it require that a number be involved? Would you count Phyllis Reynolds Naylor’s “Alice” books, which you could put in chronological order and which now number at least 25? I would not, because there is no formula to the structure and plot of each book, nor do the characters mysteriously remain the same age and experience twenty autumns of eighth grade (which, you have to admit, is an EXCELLENT trick; think of how many Halloween costumes you could have in all of those Octobers…). I guess that wasn’t such a hard question to answer after all. Series books are, also, more heavily reliant on thematics. That and their familiar structure are what make them so comforting, and why yes I was horrified and appalled when I learned that some of my friends skipped chapter two – the one in which everyone is introduced and some fun fact or outfit description is given! – of every Babysitters Club book.

I did part ways, however, with some of the preachier series books, like…The Ten Commandments Mysteries? See below, and don’t worship false idols. Teen idols, maybe, according to some other 80s series, but not false idols. And didn’t we already learn this from the Brady Bunch? Tsk.

I went to Cincinnati last week for my mom’s birthday and to say goodbye to their house (the only house I grew up in!) before they move to Florida. Or, as they might say, I came home for my mom’s birthday and to go through the 7 bins of middle grade/YA books that had taken up residence in our friend’s storage unit, plus the two shelves of adult books in my old bedroom/the guest room, and a few other things…

(I never claimed to be good at this; also, I’ve long said that it’s much easier for me to just not acquire things than it is for me to get rid of things once acquired, a sentiment backed up in more quantitative terms by Kahneman and Tversky in The Undoing Project, which I’m almost finished reading. Don’t worry, that one is a library book and also has zero mass, because it’s a Kindle book! Oh…except that I somehow also ended up with the hardcover library edition. See, books are a problem area for me.)

I got rid of (aka put in piles for my mom to donate to a woman who’s collecting 700 books for a Halloween event…with the caveat that she might want to go through them first to make sure she isn’t giving an unsuspecting 7-year-old a Fear Street Holiday Special with the tag line “Happy holidays…you’re dead!!” <– really, is there anything that has more of a ring to it?) TWO HUNDRED AND EIGHTY FOUR BOOKS.

Which sounds like a great deal and something I should be very pleased with, and *I* am pretty pleased with myself, but I think my parents are more focused on the fact that there are still four bins of books plus a little tiny bit of spillover. They keep sending me information about air freight and storage units in NYC. That’s a problem for December Claire, who will be scrambling to find solutions (a friend has offered her Cincinnati basement, but…I have to come up with a more permanent plan at some point).

I took pictures of all of the books I got rid of, even the ones I didn’t remember, because that’s my crutch, and so that I could do a series pondering WHAT authors in the 80s and 90s were thinking. To be continued!

(I know at some point, probably in 7th grade, I had 800 books…so the final count may have been more like 1200, but I made an effort to only count the ones I was giving away and not the ones I was keeping so that I could proudly report to my parents the sheer number I’d managed to part with.)

On the Lower East Side the other day I saw a bearded dragon lizard riding on the back of a small dog. Their owner had been carrying the bearded dragon but paused when he saw us looking and asked if we wanted a picture (yes). He told us it was his birthday and that to celebrate he had bought $900 sneakers (the sneakers are in the picture; they are pink and shiny). The dog sort of shook the lizard off and he landed on the sidewalk, which startled and concerned me for a moment, but the dog was probably only ten inches off of the ground and the dragon seemed unfazed.

“Enjoy this humid New York day!” the man said as he made his way on with his two companions, though initially I heard it as “Enjoy this human New York Day!” and that seems equally likely even though I know it’s not what he said.

The bearded dragon stayed on his shoulder as he crossed Houston, but it inched its way down until it was nearly completely on his back. I don’t know how strong a bearded dragon’s grip is on the surface of a t-shirt, but he seemed to be a professional. At one point he let the dog off of its leash and I have to say it behaved in a pretty professional manner as well.

On the theme of neighborhood characters and mishearing, there’s a guy who often stands on my corner wearing camo shorts, a vest without a shirt but with significant metallic decoration, and occasionally a hat. I walk past him all the time, and one day when I was feeling particularly neighborly and jaunty, more human than humid, I must have made eye contact and given him a nod of recognition. He either said, “Hey buddy!” or “Hey dummy!” so I suppose I need more data on that.

So, I tried to make the title of this post “Where in the World USA…” and apparently you can’t format a post title, which seems unnecessarily stingy.

My thought process behind the sous rature (sorry, THANKS HEIDEGGER (and if I’m being honest, without google, that would still say thanks Heidigger (now who invented the double–now triple–parenthetical??))) was that I’m always dreaming of other countries to visit (then feeling guilty at the prospect of flying too much; now this paragraph is vomitously self-referential) but rarely thinking about places in the US that I would like to see.

It’s a false allure, the idea of a place being so drastically different because of a passport stamp (which you often don’t even get anymore…when I was entering France from the UK recently the man at passport control sort of smirked at me and asked if I wanted a stamp, so I must have been projecting the aura of someone desperately hoarding evidence of travel)–or, it’s not false, but there are places within the US borders that are just as drastically different. I’ve never been to Yosemite, for one, or the Southwest. My only time technically in Texas was in the Houston airport. And though I’ve wanted to experience a Portland summer (because I associate those with 1) roses and 2) symphonies outdoors) since I was eleven, I’ve never been to the Pacific Northwest at all.

I stopped writing this for a few days and sort of lost the thread, though if I were sticking with signs and signified I might attempt a digression about semiotically checking off/crossing out regions once you’ve visited them. Anyway, that’s breadth, not depth…but if we consider smaller and smaller regions, moving from “Southwest” and “Mid-Atlantic” to proper states and then to cities, depth becomes more possible.

(I tutored a lot today. I think my brain is compromised, or to quote the Magnetic Fields, I’m not Sau-sure I know what this is).

 

 

As of last month, I’ve lived in New York City for 12 years (!). I never intended to stay permanently, but more than a decade here has made it tricky for me to imagine living elsewhere. The city never “gets me down,” per se, but while I used to think I would move simply to experience living in a different place, now I would need a compelling reason to leave. That reason may end up being $$, or the school systems, or a job, but it won’t be “just wanted something different.”

The past 24 hours have done a pretty spectacular job of making the continued case for NYC. Last night I dressed up as the Great Barrier Reef and went to a 50th birthday party at a nightclub in the Meatpacking District, where Vanilla Ice played while someone wearing a huge plush kangaroo suit leapt around (it was Australia themed, other than the Vanilla Ice part).

(I saw one other reef, two jars of vegemite, two mermaids, several Australian flags, three Quantas flight attendants, Bananas in Pyjamas, the Wiggles, and too many Steve Irwins, Mad Maxes, Crocodile Dundees, kangaroos, koalas, and sharks to keep track of.)

This morning I had coffee in Alphabet City, outside, during the course of which 1) we talked to an actor from Chicago whose small child tried to offer me the stick he was carrying (this was just post-instruction from his dad “Do not put that stick anywhere near that dog” that was tied to the fence, so the kid was technically following instructions); 2) a woman asked me to hold her dog’s leash while she went inside with her baby-in-stroller (I did think she was going to ask us to watch the baby, too) and I got to enjoy all of the comments and pets from the passersby by proxy.

After coffee we went to a community garden down the street and sat by a koi pond with several turtles standing guard on rocks, where we met 1) a guided group of German tourists; 2) a man with two small dogs that desperately wanted to vanquish one of the turtles, which seemed unfazed (I commented, “Poor turtle,” and the guy said, “Poor turtle nothing; we do this every day, so he knows they’re never going to get him. THEY don’t know that, though;” 3) A man and his three- or four-year-old son, who was dressed in a full-on Mario costume (complete with mustache), who explained to us that his son had just become obsessed with Mario but he didn’t want him playing on the phone all the time, so instead bought him a Mario costume and took him out to treat the world as his own personal Mario experience. The boy had certainly played SOME Mario, because he told his dad that he needed to step on the turtle (his dad said “you can touch him gently with your foot, but BE GENTLE” and the child actually complied perfectly, though the turtle dove into the pool indignantly). As they left the boy said, “We have to go find some mushrooms…so I can go bloop bloop bloop!” (motioning growing taller with his hand).

I really, really hope that at home the dad has constructed a set of cardboard boxes that hang from the ceiling that the lad can jump up and crush with his head. Ding!