The other day as I completed my Duolingo practice, I asked myself, Will I ever really need to know how to say “this theory describes liquids” in Russian? Or “We need to measure the size of the particle”? (I’ve reached the “Science” section of the app; other upcoming lessons include “Politics,” “Justice,” and “Nothing,” which I assume will teach me to write about existentialism in Cyrillic. In my Mandarin course, there’s a section on “Existence,” which promises much the same.)… Read more »

I’ve been flossing every other day for the past month, which is probably up there with the longest stretch of time I’ve managed to floss regularly. I still have to force myself to sit through the whole cycle of the electric toothbrush, though. My poor dental hygiene habits aside, the new flossing habit got me thinking about the differences in our responses to negative reactions associated with doing certain things. That was a number of empty phrases! Let me be… Read more »

It’s day 2 of daylight savings, so of course I woke up with the Christmas song “Up on the Housetop” stuck in my head. This sent me into quite a rumination about WHY it’s up on the “housetop” instead of “rooftop”? Who says housetop? Googling this troubling question only leads me to a “howstuffworks.com” explanation of how Santa delivers presents. It does, additionally, clarify that the next lyric is “reindeer pause” not “reindeer paws.” HOOVES. More housetop/rooftop conundrums via Duolingo,… Read more »

Student, describing one interpretation of the justice system and putting someone away for smaller but more convictable crimes: “Like when someone is a murderer but you can’t prove they killed someone, so you get them for taxidermy or something” Student describing a marriage: “Then Lady Macbeth is like, did you kill him without me? FOMO.” Train conductor, apropos of nothing: “People wobble but they never fall.” My Fitbit, confusing because I was simultaneously getting a text message and thought the… Read more »

Analog.   Overheard on the train: One kid to another, describing a video game: “That’s the whole point. That’s the cool part about being a responsible dad.”   Overheard from my students: High school student, reading Latin: “Delia, I only want to yoke oxen with you” Student: — Student: Chivalry isn’t dead!   11th-grade student, reading Sylvia Plath: “…and I eat men like air.” Student: SENIOR QUOTE   There are deep thoughts and there are shower thoughts, but there are… Read more »

I thought I just heard my roommate say “Alexa, regime change,” but I’m thinking it was probably “Alexa, resume please.” Also heard in my apartment: “Think about how much rendering must have gone into these breasts. They’re very…breasty.” Speaking of the digital world–so, the advertising for Candy Crush has gotten a little…sinister and desperate, no?                   I usually ignore The Listserve emails even though I haven’t bothered to unsubscribe, but this one… Read more »

Here are some things my Fitbit credits as exercise: -practicing the drums (sometimes, it even gives me cardio!). It usually classes this as “outdoor cycling” -practicing the harp (it only logs this about half of the time, probably when I’m practicing faster music, and it automatically categorizes it as “walking;” since I *actually* walk at other times, I recategorized it. There is no option for “musical performance” or “fine-motor handwork,” so I went with “gardening”) -walking, but only if it’s… Read more »

I’ve always liked the week between Christmas and New Year’s. This year I was even lazier than usual and spent most of my time sitting around in a panda suit and face mask, watching the new season of Black Mirror. I leave the house to go to yoga and also so that my Fitbit will congratulate me on things.   I read three more books through the end of the year: Exit West, by Mohsin Hamid Secondhand Time, by Svetlana… Read more »

I actually made some progress on my bedside book stacks, which is good as I was tripping over them with some frequency. Granted, I have tripped getting out of bed even when there’s only a pristine floor. I’m in the middle of both Love and Math, by Edward Frenkel, and Secondhand Time, by Svetlana Alexievich (so, technically, those are either *on* the bed or in my purse…but we’re being analog here). Still forming the foundation of pile #1 are Haunted… Read more »