Somehow I woke up this morning with a song stuck in my head that I haven’t heard since I was maybe nine (though, I will say, I have thought about it pretty frequently). The conceit of the song is…I suppose it’s explaining, amusingly, animal mating and where baby animals come from. Sample lyrics: There’s two kinds of wombats Dad-bats And Mom-bats Dad-bats love Mom-bats And that’s why There’s wombats He (Tom Chapin, that is, and yes, Harry Chapin’s brother) goes… Read more »
Posts Categorized: Blog
Earsdropping
Guy walking down the street complaining to his friend: “Now she’s got some Eggos divorced guy with kids” Well, don’t blame him; his ex-wife got the waffle iron. Spam comment I received: “Crossants can make my small dog sick he vomit two times” I think “cross ants” are actually more likely to make a small dog sick than croissants are, so points for accuracy. Note I accidentally typed in my July budget tracking document: $7 – coffee and scorn Very possibly… Read more »
Language Bits
Watching Wimbledon makes me wonder why British English refers to “sport” versus American English’s “sports,” but the UK studies “maths” rather than “math.” Technically, there are multiple maths, but also multiple sports; on the other hand, “sport” and “math” both work as categories. It’s just curious that British English and American English evolved to have one of each. I was in a yoga class the other day and the teacher had a very interesting way of speaking–as far as I could tell… Read more »
At Home, at School, and on the Street
Sometimes when I visit my parents they indulge me by joining me in watching gymnastics on TV. And by sometimes, I mean the Venn Diagram intersection of “when I visit my parents” and “when gymnastics is on TV.” During the men’s Olympic Trials (parents will remain anonymous so they have only a 50% chance of bashfulness): On the men’s outfits: “Are those like footed pajamas? On the men’s arm muscles, and social media: Parent A: “It looks like a… Read more »
Music “Appreciation”
Many moons ago I had the opportunity to read a number of essays written for a general music appreciation class. Because this class fulfilled a requirement and was geared toward non-musicians (or even to people with very little musical experience at all), and because the particular group of students seemed somewhat disinterested…the essays sometimes contained very interesting observations. On musical structure (like…A B A form…): “This piece is a ba ba ba. It is a beautiful pea.” On Chopin and his many nocturnes:… Read more »
The Pharmacy.
This is what I was thinking about the other day: The pharmacy: the city-acy the phlegacy the pharma-sky The pharmacist: the pharma-boil …that was pretty much it.
What’s in Your Purse?
I try to clean out my purse every so often because it’s generally full of garbage, but today I cleaned it out because I discovered, en route to work, that my metrocard was missing. Though I know that the staple women’s-magazine feature “What’s in YOUR purse?” is likely about as true to life as YM Magazine’s “Say Anything” column–which is to say, partially true and heavily edited–I always snicker/grimace when I think about what my response would be if someone… Read more »
Conversational
Overheard On the street: One guy to another: “It’s a lot of work, man–to pick an avocado.” Elderly woman to her elderly friend: “I share my birthday with Father’s Day this year…THAT SUCKS.” Someone catcalling me…I think: “Damn, red hair like Jesus!” Okay. In a high school: One student chasing another, shouting accusatorially: “They could have been twins! They could have been twins!” One student to another: “Oh? Incest? What?” Student to her friend: “I’m afraid to go on a cruise!”… Read more »
Camping
This weekend I’m camping in Pennsylvania. Russian Duolingo, accordingly, has been giving me the practice sentences “The forest is really close” and “I like sleeping on the floor.” (Other frequently recurring sentences are “My girlfriend doesn’t cook, but she can eat a lot,” “I like jumping!” and “Big Brother is watching,” so clearly it knows me well.) I spent a large percentage of my life believing that I hated camping, before sort out the data and realizing that all of the camping… Read more »
Overheard
In my house: “But I’m not a craftsman, you know? I’m not a maker of fine wearables. So I put the wings in a bag.” On the train: One woman to another: “The thing about time travel…” Other woman: ? First woman: “Is that even if you could go back and change something, you don’t have to go back and change something. You know?” Other woman: — From a middle-school student: Me: “Autotrophs create their own biomass, so… Read more »
