While using Hopstop (RIP), I found that there was a section for East Anglia, England. What’s the public transport there? Eels? Hopstop might have fared better if it had the functionality to tell you how long it would take you to walk to the train while staring down at your phone the whole time. Things I’ve accidentally Googled while trying to search for “Hopstop”: 1. “hoo” – got this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoo A welcome misfire in the end. Many uses of hoo! 2…. Read more »
Posts Categorized: Blog
Apps I Need
Sneeze-counting app, including tracking of the ever-frustrating missed sneezes. App that gives you new weather when you hit refresh. Similar to the many step-tracking apps: an app that counts all of the words you type and delete on different devices throughout the day. App that lets you change Siri’s voice to Morgan Freeman’s or the vocalist of your choosing. Shazam for my moods. Ability to Google “What’s in my fridge right now and when is it going to go bad?”… Read more »
Best books I read in… (Part Two)
2011: The Ask, Sam Lipsyte The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, Michael Chabon God on the Rocks, Jane Gardam (and shouldn’t this be the name of a cocktail?) State of Wonder, Ann Patchett Rebecca, Daphne du Maurier The Emperor of All Maladies, Siddhartha Mukherjee House of Mirth, Edith Wharton The Count of Monte Cristo, Alexandre Dumas The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks, Rebecca Skloot The Sky is Everywhere, Jandy Nelson 2012: The Fallback Plan, Leigh Stein Bats Out of… Read more »
Best books I read in… (Part One)
I started keeping a word document of all of the books I read during the calendar year back in 2007, bolding the ones that I liked the most. I usually tried to keep the year’s best to ten and later, five–not forcing it, especially in years when I read more books or loved more of them, but it was nice to have a constraint. Here are (were?) my favorites from the past eight years… 2007: The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, Haruki… Read more »
Objectives I would like to have a Kickstarter for (an ongoing list)
Starting a group home for wayward parentheticals that have never been closed. Memorizing all of the area codes in the United States. Documenting every instance someone on the internet has stated, “I’m balling my eyes out!” Octopus yoga.
Overheard on the…
THE PROFANE Outside of the doctor’s office: “I’m so fucking tired of dealing with these fucking people that I want to stab and kill!” On the street: “Oh gee Carlos, thanks for the shitty fucking Snickers!” On Bondi Beach, Sydney: “I’m her boyfriend, Liberace. Now get a focking haircut and fock off.” On the bus, woman talking on the phone: “Here is the fuckery of fuckeries: we have to accommodate Deborah.” THE LOVERS On the train: Him: “I don’t know what… Read more »
On Spam
I love checking my website admin page for comments. It’s like checking the mail; there’s always the chance that you get a real message from someone, but even if not, you might get a catalog that passes the time adequately, or online, your spam checker might catch something like this: “There are four form of birds inside your yard: The ones that summer along, those who spend the wintertime along (since you are warmer), the temporary ones (like migrating thru), then your… Read more »
Things My Students Have Said, Part 2
Part II. For part one, see here. 12- and 13-year-olds: Me to Latin student: “In ancient Rome female roles were usually played by men.” Student: “Oh, so they were drag queens.” Student, writing a poem about penguins and making a simile about tuxedos: “Well, often when getting married the guy has regrets.” “I always get JFK and FDR confused because the FDR road goes to JFK airport.” Student, honking very stuffed nose: “Look. It’s a trumpet.” … Read more »
Things My Students Have Said, Part 1
A multi-part list by age, collected over years (note: it is intentional that these are all from different years and that things like gender and specific age aren’t given, just to further ensure anonymity). 8- and 9-year-olds: “That’s really arrogant!” –in response to Purell’s claim that it can kill 99.9% of germs. “I don’t need water…I’m a free rannnnnnnnnnge chicken!”–after the mom asked, “Do you want some water?” Line from a book for fourth graders about a dog traveling w/Lewis and Clark:… Read more »
Halloween
I tend toward the overly ambitious and also procrastinatory when it comes to costumes. Sometimes the best ones come from waiting until the last minute and seeing what there is in the costume box (yes, I have a costume box. I enjoy a good theme party and also not getting rid of things). In the end I was BMO from Adventure time, and spent only $7. All of the things I wanted to be for Halloween: A butterfly or fish… Read more »
