I stayed in a very comfortable hotel for seven nights (er…it was supposed to be seven nights, but ended up being more like five and a half, since I arrived 24 hours late and on my final night there I left at 3:15 am) while I taught SAT/ACT boot camp and I think I gave them some odd impressions on which to build a character sketch of me while I was there.
First, I arrived so tired – not even jet-lagged, because my entire circadian rhythm was so scrambled jet leg just got folded into it and disappeared) and out of it that when they asked if I was there for work or pleasure my brain short-circuited a bit and I gave the same answer I’d given customs – “Vacation!” Now – I don’t think there was actually anything objectionable about me teaching an SAT course in London without a work visa, given that my employer is in the US/I’m an independent contractor/my pay was all coming from the US even though I was physically in London, and considering that I often have students in other countries (including the UK) via Skype…but it seemed like a lot to go into at customs (and the last time I went through UK customs was almost a decade ago and they were highly suspicious because I didn’t know the address of the hotel I was staying at, so I don’t have a great track record here…).
Anyway, I gave the hotel the impression that I was “on holiday,” which didn’t do much to explain the two giant packages of books that were delivered to my room ahead of me (and which I then struggled with mightily trying to get them into the elevator and then an Uber to take them to the school…). Subsequently, my colleague had an enormous plant delivered to my hotel room for my co-teacher (no one at reception mentioned this – I just returned to my room one afternoon and there it was, taking up most of the table). Also, I needed to avail myself rather heavily of the hotel printer, and my overactive guilt/fear of being scolded led me to do this by stealth (the printer was, luckily, under a counter! But also directly across from reception!), even though my office manager had called the hotel ahead and asked about printing and they had responded that it was free and I could print as much as I liked!
These are all problems of my own making, is what I’m saying. Except the plant. And it was a pretty delightful companion the one night it stayed in the room with me.
I did manage to print a total of something like 24 full SAT/ACT practice tests (having to request paper from the front desk only once, before bringing my own (thanks to my co-teacher) after that to avoid drawing suspicion) before the printer started crying out for help and the replacement of M, Y, and C toners. I sweet-talked it through printing six of eight student reports before it went quietly into the good night.
So, am I making a good case for myself for a secondary career as a spy? I thought so.
