You can make almost any title better by taking a cue from nature TV and bestowing the subtitle “Spy in the Huddle.” (I actually wish they had confined that brilliance to Penguins: Spy in the Huddle rather than extending it to a trope. Spy in the forest! Spy in the nest! Kind of dilutes it.) But I also like to play with the Lifetime Original Movie structure and add “The __________ story.” E.g. Serious Colors: The Claire Dunnington Story. Or Herd Subjectivity: The Internet Story. Or what have you. Why do I like that calculus–phrase, colon, the (person’s name) story better than the repetition of Spy in the _____? I can’t say. Maybe the placement.
In addition to having titles swirling around us at all times, it would be fun to have chyrons floating around us with our personal brand slogans, like TV networks do. By fun I mean interruptive, and Philip K Dick-y, and cluttering to personal space, but also fun. I guess chyrons and slogans are two separate things. We could have both: a logo and a phrase.
Once we have all of these things…we should probably each have our own four-note (or thereabouts) personal jingles. I am still baffled when I think about how much major companies pay for those. Every time I remember I spend the next 20 minutes thinking about why certain things are valued so highly and others are not. (But really: the first four notes of this cost an absurd amount of money. Or am I wrong? Maybe that amount of money was for the entire 21 second songlet?)
None of this compares to my ultimate childhood dream of all people having their own combination barbershop quartet/Greek chorus to follow them around and sing about their lives. Don’t worry; you could make it disappear if you tired of it. Possibly by clapping. It would function under the same technology as “Clap On” (clap clap) “Clap Off” (clap, clap clap) lights. And I’m sure the jingle for THAT one was a kingly sum.
