A multi-part list by age, collected over years (note: it is intentional that these are all from different years and that things like gender and specific age aren’t given, just to further ensure anonymity).

8- and 9-year-olds:

“That’s really arrogant!” –in response to Purell’s claim that it can kill 99.9% of germs.

“I don’t need water…I’m a free rannnnnnnnnnge chicken!”–after the mom asked, “Do you want some water?”

Line from a book for fourth graders about a dog traveling w/Lewis and Clark: “New fur covered the scar where Seaman’s beaver wound had been.”

Me to student: “Have you ever been to Ellis Island?”                                               Student: “Well no but I have been to a golf course called Ellis Island mini-golf.”

Me to student: “Do you know what a terrace is?”                                                           Student: “Someone that kills people.”

Student, reading aloud: “The mariachi would never refuse her.”                                     Me: “…matriarch.”                                                                                                       Student: “Maybe they have a band.”

 

10- and 11-year-olds:

Student, examining pencil markings on the desk: “Hey, it looks like the breast cancer ribbon!”

Me to student: “An independent variable is a variable that you can manipulate.”         Student: “That’s not very nice to the variable.”

Student: “Can I do something funny to you?”                                                                 Me: “Uh, probably not.”                                                                                                 Student: “Oh, so you’re not a laughing kind of person?”

Student, drawing a cartoon person: “My people skills have really improved!”

Student, talking about daylight savings: “I like the fall back. The dark is fun. (Pause) I’m not trying to be a downer or anything.”

Student, working on math definitions: “Sum–the answer to an addiction problem.”

Student, looking at messy handwriting: “I think I was on crack. A crack. In the table.”

Student, being tutored via Skype: “Brace yourself, Claire.”                                               Me: “What?”                                                                                                               Student (opening a new tab): “I’M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO SEE YOUR WHOLE FACE!”

 

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