Part II. For part one, see here.
12- and 13-year-olds:
Me to Latin student: “In ancient Rome female roles were usually played by men.” Student: “Oh, so they were drag queens.”
Student, writing a poem about penguins and making a simile about tuxedos: “Well, often when getting married the guy has regrets.”
“I always get JFK and FDR confused because the FDR road goes to JFK airport.”
Student, honking very stuffed nose: “Look. It’s a trumpet.” Me: “Uh-huh.” Student: “You’re not a fan of the soundtrack, huh?”
14- and 15-year-olds:
Student, explaining tardiness: “I got hit by a car and rolled down a hill!” (Starbucks drink was unharmed and unspilled)
Me: “0-7 pH is acidic. 7-14 is basic. 7 is neutral, and the human body is close to 7.” Student: “I’m probably basic.”
16- and 17-year-olds:
Student, explaining functions: “X input can’t have multiple Y outputs, because X can’t be a pimp.”
Me to student: “Did you find your essay on your desk?” Student: “No, but I found this loaf of bread on my way to my room!” (holds it up)
Student, as I was leaving: “Did you know that you’re part of my elf army?”
Me to student: “Any other questions?” (About that/who/which) Student: “No. Oh! I do have a random question.” Me: “Yes?” Student: “So, poison…”
“I imagine you getting my SAT score while wearing a Victorian dress, and then fainting. Maybe untying it from the leg of a crow.”
“Claire, I don’t envy your position. I wouldn’t want to deal with myself.”
Me to student: “Junior year is rough. I remember.” Student: “Don’t try to empathize with me!”
Me, noticing student staring intently at me: “Do you have a question?” Student: “No, I was making a plan for how to steal your hat.”
Not a cow
I really enjoyed these.